I really haven’t had much to write about lately, aside from short little blurbs about random garbage that gets on my nerves, so instead of making a nice long post about bullshit you don’t care about, nor are even half of you literate enough to understand… let’s take a trip around this glorious melting pot of human retardation we call, TEH INTAR WEBZES!

Welcome to news for the A.D.D.

Speaking of literacy, Iran reported lately close to 9 million of their 71.5 million population is illiterate.  While this of course strikes me as amusing for the most obvious of reasons ( Read: Terrorists are pissed off because they can’t ever read TV Guide so instead they blow each other to high hell. ), the most pathetic fact is that… Detroit still has them beat.  Ah the American way, too lazy to read, too stupid the care.

BBC reports that one in three employees have been to work with a hang-over, and over one in ten have been drunk at their desk, and I fill both categories, one of them right now, I’ll let you decide which.

Pregnant officer Sonia Henriques of the Jersey police department was denied light work ( Read: A desk job ) because, and I am dead serious, “Male officers don’t get desk jobs when they’re pregnant”…  Ever wonder why I don’t trust cops?  Here ya go people, give a person with the intelligence level of a duct tape dildo a gun and the authority to enact what they believe is true, and you have god… just look how well HE did.

Speaking of cops… and Jersey.  A police officer by the name of Robert Melia in South Jersey who is already up on charges for child molestation, was just charge animal cruelty… namely… or having sex with them… specifically… getting head on multiple occasions… from a cow.  R@yGold anyone?  ( If you don’t get the reference you are probably just too stupid for me to explain it, fucking google it. )

Question, if you are having a boundary dispute with your neighbor over where to bury a dead cow, and in turn, your neighbor begins to throw rocks at you, what is the best way to resolve this argument in a mature, and orderly fashion?  Of course!  Hit him in the nuts with a 12 ton excavator!  Then when he dies in the hospital… plead not guilty… because everyone knows it was self defense.

Mothers Against Drunk Driving ( Or we haven’t been laid in centuries so we are going to piss off the world ) are attacking the makers of the newest Grand Theft Auto because the game gives you the ability to drive a simulated car while drinking simulated alcohol.  Personally, I say the game sucks and the series is boring… why simulate drunk driving when you can do it in real life!

Congressman Mark Kirk says that the game Second Life is a target for sexual predators to “virtually exploit” kids.  Even though you have to be 18 to access any of the adult portions of said game, his argument is that if a child falsely claims their age to be 18, they will be allowed in!  On a side note, this debate was also completely devoid of intelligence and proper parenting practices.

More news as the day goes on!