Now understand, this short little ditty is coming from a huge fan of the Final Fantasy series. I have rarely been disappointed by ANYTHING Square has released in the past. The other night while looking for Mortal Combat: Deception for Infected, I noticed a $1.99 30 day trial of Final Fantasy: Online. I had never played it before, I figured hell, why not, it’s only 2 bucks. I eagerly install, and wait another 2 hours for patching. As you already know, patching right after installing seriously gets under my skin… and by “gets under my skin” I mean, makes me want to beat a panda to death. After taking a shower, smoking a lot of cigarettes, and drinking copious amounts of wine, the install finally finishes, and I am on my excited little way…
The registration process was nice and easy, I prefer the application level account registration instead of the website version, always have. The play online view was interesting to look at while everything was loading up, which was a plus. Seems simple, but hey, I am entertained easily by stupid shit… just look at the reviews I do of human beings, that says it all right there. Annoying as all hell that they provide your login id for you, which happens to be a bunch of random characters from Satan’s ass… but I could get past that. Now is the moment of truth, my first log in…
I was pleased to hear the game music, it was very Final Fantasy-esc, reminded me of the old days. The menu system as well… hell I expect Sepheroth to jump out at any second it was reminding me so much of FF7. Still excited I went to create my character… and noticed a problem…
Graphics: After spending 30 minutes bumping the up the graphics, and having to hand edit the registry to get a resolution higher than 1024x1024, the graphics were the most horrific thing I’ve seen since Atari 2600. I mean Jesus Christ is this game an eye-sore. There is NOTHING visually pleasing about it, even the opening cut scenes look like they were made by a first year art student with a warez’d copy of Bryce. Way to go BACK a couple steps in skill Enix. Oh well, maybe the game-play makes up for it!
Navigation: No mini-map, the full map is about as useful as an asshole on an elbow. No standard WASD controls, controlling the camera is like a monkey fucking a football… This is by far the most idiotic system I have ever seen. Hell, I couldn’t even figure out how to rebind the keyboard for movement… no wonder no-one plays this game. I spent 4 hours… 4 full hours in the game, and wasn’t even able to get the fuck out of the city. I never even fought one single creature for fucks sake.
Community: Speaking of no-one playing, in the 4 hours I did actually play this atrocity to man-kind, I saw no-one. Not a single soul. No chat… nothing. This place makes operas sex life look more interesting, and that’s quite a fucking thing if you ask me.
By the end of my 4 hours I learned one thing about Final Fantasy: Online. It’s worthless, maybe it’s better on the console, but as a PC MMORPG, it’s a complete failure.
Way to dash my hopes and dreams Enix.
There is a bit more I could say about the game, but in all honesty, there is not point. There is not one redeeming quality about this title that makes it in any way shape or form a worth-while time killer.
My final judgment?
Fail.
Currently rated 2.6 by 14 people
- Currently 2.571429/5 Stars.
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