VF never ceases to grace me with its ability to attract the strangest and most chemically unbalanced people.  Then again, it’s a profile rating site based off the ideas of a mythical and magical creature, like God, Satan, or Obama Bin Laden… wait, did I say Obama?  Shit.  Though in this case, the apparently contagious ailment delusional retardation does not discriminate age.  Wait, never mind, I knew that already… Nebris and his Land Whale proved that point quite expertly.

Meet, “PureFuckingEvil666”!  As you could gather from his alias, this boy... man… whatever means serious business.  Also as you could more than likely gather, this man… is a complete tool.  Not even a useful tool like say, a spork.  No, he is the kind of tool you have to spend a metric fuck ton of money on because one certain part in your car was made in Canada, the kind you use once, and never again.

Firstly, the man is 30.  A 30 year old delusional asshat on a profile rating site.  This screams winner.  Secondly, he has a child, which was apparently lost due to a custody battle with his ex-wife… and after reading his attempt of a profile, I can completely understand why.  This guy doesn’t have issues, he’s got a lifetime subscription.  Let’s move on to said content now shall we?

“READ OR PISS OFF DONT BODER ME WITH BULLSHIT”

Boder?  What the hell is a boder?  Is that some bastard child of border and bother?  Speaking of bastard children, at least that kid of yours isn’t being subjected to this.

“AND DONT SPEAK TO ME WHEN YOU ARE 1ST EMO 2ND UNDER 18 3TH HAVENT ANYTHING USEFULL TO SAY DONT WASTED MINE TIME !!!!!”

Well you get points for the emo and the under 18.  But you lose those points with 3th.  What, in the hell, is Threeth?  Basic numbers apparently flew over this guy’s head like the restraining order his ex-wife served him.  Of course, that little piece of paper probably just “wasted him time”.

“AND FUCK OFF WITH STUPID CULT INVITES THAT DONT FITT ME!!!!!”

What, there isn’t a cult for over the hill metal heads that never passed the 2^nd grade?

“im a satanist from dordrecht the netherland and im a proud one!!!!!”

Do all Satanists hate the English language?  Or just you.

“iam anti sociale i hate every one exept the ones in my own cirkel the rest die”

No wonder, I doubt anyone can understand a damn word you’re saying half the time…

“you wanne now more shit about me ask me and maybe maybe i tell you”

Will it be in retard?  Or normal English, because I’m curious.  Did you go to school to be this stupid?  Or were you born this way.  Enquiring minds want to know.

“i die for my friends”

Want to be friends?  Please?

“I DONT CARE IF YOU LIKE OR DISLIKE ME I SURREDENDLY DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU”

Certainly, you mean certainly.  You half-whit wiccan from hell.

“submit to hate and total intolerance”

Done.

“our strife is dead and we will shall prefal total death to all the weak”

Prevail… pre… vail.   Let’s move on to his “Dislikes” shall we?

“Dislikes: FUCK CHRIST HAIL SATAN”

Translation: My imaginary friend is better than yours!

“antifa LEFT WINGERS DIE YOU FUCKING RAT,”

Not really sure what he’s saying here.  Does he hate left wingers? Or anti left wingers…

“EMO'S EMO'S EMO'S”

Again, I actually agree with this point.

“animal women and childeren abusers wenne i see you i kill you hip hop and R&B shit”

Commas are great, though… animal women, maybe he doesn’t like ShamanGirl?  If so, I agree on all points, aside from the horrible linguistics.

“my ex wife with how i wasted 3,5 years of my life and dont let me see my son die bitch”

I wonder why you aren’t allowed to see your children.  It’s an amazement to mankind.  You are so stable, intelligent, and sane.  What’s come to this world we live in when a man like you can’t be in charge of another human life?

“all people, lairs”

He dies for his friends, but he hates everyone?  Pretty illogical.  What a liar.

“people how border my with suicide do it or i do it for you life sucks learn to live with it or die”

I’m not really sure what this means… does he like… or dislike attempted suicide?  Did he attempt it?  Seriously… lost here people.

“kids accept my own son”

Still, amazing why… you don’t have custody of your child anymore.

“that when i change my profile its still change back, cleaning my house, railways crossover, trafficelight, idiots how cant drive, speed limits”

You’re an idiot, blah, blah, blah, blah, again you’re and idiot, and blah.

“ANYONE HOW TRYING TO FUCK MY FRIENDS”

I’ve seen your friends, you are safe here.  I don’t think Helen Keller would fuck them.  There some other random garbage, but it doesn’t really make any more sense than the prior.  At any rate, I grow tired of this douche, time to retire for a bit and watch some intelligent television.

Hello Futurama.

( In other news according to ShamanGirl and Nebris, I wish to attack TripleSix sometime in the near future… )