Contrary to popular belief, the alleged 'moist and delicious cake' is, according to recent reports from valid and anonymous sources, neither of the advertised adjectives.

Indeed, according to these sources in information given via e-mail, the cake is neither moist or delicious. It is unknown at this time how or when exactly this discovery was made, however efforts are being put forth to investigate this as well as the validity of related subjects such as 'pie' and 'donut'.

To put it simply, ladies and gentlemen, the cake...is a lie.