Meet Laurence!

I remember a day when trolling took a little bit more effort.  Kids these days think they can just spew some random garbage at some person they’ve never met and all of the sudden they are a winner in the game of “How annoying can I possibly be when there’s a screen protecting my 15 year old virgin ass”.  Dear oh dear, what IS the world coming to?  Novel effort sparky, next time I’d suggest picking on someone your own species though… wait, is moron a species? More...

Currently rated 5.0 by 1 people

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Posted by: Lucid
Posted on: 5/15/2008 at 3:40 AM
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Categories: General Idiocy | Humor | MyTards
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The Douche Bag Brigade!

As you know by now, I have been going back and forth with a middle aged metal head on Vampire Freaks who just so happens to be foreign.  Now while this person is completely capable of speaking broken English ( at the very least ), he refuses to.  After basically just calling him a lost cause, much like his ability to be a father, I just pursued other ventures, as you’ve undoubtedly noticed.  Over the time I have been pursuing said ventures, Mr. Douchebag666 has recruited himself a small army of likeminded ass-hats to the cause of bitching to me in Dutch.  Well an old friend of mine from Endless Ages just so happens to understand what the hell these kids are babbling at me, let’s take a look shall we? More...

Currently rated 3.0 by 4 people

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Posted by: Lucid
Posted on: 4/18/2008 at 1:46 AM
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Categories: Humor | MyTards
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Double-Chinned Brazilian Fruit Cake Anyone?

Now we all know that the magical and mystical fruit-cake is a gift given near the holidays to those you really don’t give a quarter of a flaming rat’s ass about.  No-one knows what it’s of, why it was made in the first place, or who the hell likes it enough to actually put it in their mouth.  You just end up throwing it in a random closet for it to gather dust, and then eventually pass it on to the next poor soul that will do the same.  The same is really no different here, aside from the fact that this one can speak… which in all honesty makes it the Anti-Christ of all fruit cakes everywhere.  Now before I lay into this it ( yes I am going to use the term “it” again as I feel that if someone can’t be happy with the gender they were born they need to be shot ), I would honestly like to state, I don’t understand this new sub-culture of kids.  Maybe I’m just getting old, who knows, regardless it makes no sense to me.  Back in the day, it took intelligence, talent, or just a metric fuck-ton of money to make music, and get thousands of screaming followers that couldn’t lead their own lives if their precious MAC eyeliner was at stake.  Now, apparently all you have to be is the following:  More...

Currently rated 5.0 by 4 people

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Posted by: Lucid
Posted on: 4/14/2008 at 2:58 PM
Tags:
Categories: General Idiocy | Humor | MyTards
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Of “tl;dr” and other youthful retardations.

Have any of you seen someone type this? “tl;dr”?  I personally have, more often than ever these days.  I honestly had no idea this thing stood for something.  In fact, for the longest time I was under the assumption that it was an improperly parsed Unicode character. ( Look it up kids, it’s far too late in the evening to be explaining anything remotely resembling programmatic logic. )  At any rate, I decided to Google it today, and damn my eyes, it’s another acronym!  As if we don’t already have enough of that garbage floating around the internet, leave it to this new generation of socially retarded simian cluster fucks to come up with something like this. More...

Currently rated 5.0 by 2 people

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Posted by: Lucid
Posted on: 4/14/2008 at 12:42 PM
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Categories: General Idiocy | MyTards
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Jeffree Star: The Emo Drag-Queen

So I apparently have been living under a rock, or haven’t had the inclination to care about random internet drag queens.  Regardless of the reason, I have just recently learned of the internet celebrity; “Jeffree Star”.  I first saw this person on Stickam while talking to Infected a while back, sitting there on the main page doing some random show and being… well, a drag queen like nothing I have ever seen.  Thinking it was just some random dolt, I moved on to other things in my evening.  But as of late I keep hearing about this atrocity to man-kind all over the drama-wagon.  ( Live Journal, MySpace, so on, so forth ).  After doing a little digging I have come to realize that not only is this walking advertisement for colored sharpies some type of icon for emo faggots everywhere, but actually has a band!  That’s right, a band… though I am using the term loosely as the “music” it creates basically sounds like a random drag-queen saying random idiocies into a mic while banging random keys on a Casio keyboard from 1986… oh wait, that’s exactly what it is.  I’d rather listen to the Lion King sound-track on repeat while continuously driving shards of glass into my crotch than subject myself to more than 3 seconds of this garbage. More...

Currently rated 4.3 by 11 people

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Posted by: Lucid
Posted on: 4/13/2008 at 5:02 AM
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Categories: General Idiocy | Humor | Media | MyTards
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Of Bill O'Reilly And The 16 Year Old MyCunts

 

...yeah.

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Currently rated 3.0 by 1 people

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Posted by: Goat
Posted on: 4/9/2008 at 8:04 AM
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Categories: MyTards | Politics
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Of Karma Brought Down On The Wicked And Whorish

http://www.realpics.net/Ashnooob

http://www.myspace.com/ashnoob (set to private, but you get a nice look of her tool of a boyfriend)

Now, this particular subject today hits a little close to home. I actually know this person and dislike them for their actions, rather than being an idiot on community websites.

Regardless of that, I feel no remorse in setting my sights on this little harlot.

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Currently rated 3.7 by 3 people

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Posted by: Goat
Posted on: 3/30/2008 at 8:43 AM
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Categories: Humor | MyTards
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Miss Piggy the Hacker

Does anyone remember, way back when, more than likely before most of our readers’ time, when the internet was a place of technological intelligence?  Hell, remember the days before the internet?  Amber and black terminals, analog couplers, dial in bulletin board systems.  The days of door games, when text files were considered “warez”, and hacking had a little bit of respect behind the term?  Ah, those were the days.  When it took a truly intelligent person to get “online”.  Now days anything with a credit card and an affliction to further spread their stupidity through-out the world can get online and act as if they invented the computer themselves.  Tools have been made to allow people to track down the most intimate details about a human being, whenever they want.  More...

Currently rated 3.7 by 3 people

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Posted by: Lucid
Posted on: 3/28/2008 at 1:00 PM
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Categories: Goth Drama | Humor | MyTards
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Corey Feldman's On Gorgeous Geeks...And Is A Woman?

http://www.gorgeousgamers.com/users/resoc9p2

I'd like to start out that this is my first visit, so this may be more of a review of my overall impression of the site than the fucksmack I linked above.

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Currently rated 5.0 by 1 people

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Posted by: Goat
Posted on: 3/28/2008 at 12:30 PM
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Look Mommy! I'm a failure!

Firstly, I’d like to openly state that I usually never attack someone under the age of eighteen.  For some reason it just gives me the shivers.  Then again, someone of the sort has never actually attempted to start a little war, so I suppose there is always a first time for everything.  Why not, we all know that I’m going to hell anyways, why not secure a front row seat for Armageddon?  More...

Currently rated 3.2 by 9 people

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Posted by: Lucid
Posted on: 3/27/2008 at 3:05 PM
Tags: , , , , ,
Categories: Humor | MyTards | Goth Drama
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